The Career Photographer

Permission to suck (and little victories)

2010-06-27T21:29:00.001-07:00

About a year ago, I heard a lot of people talking about "giving yourself permission to suck", and thought that it was a smart way to think. Take time, be patient, and the good stuff will eventually overpower the crap. For some reason, it didn't sink in. Maybe I either didn't really believe in my heart-of-hearts that I sucked, or I was just so excited with some of the images that I was creating, I forgot that they really weren't that great. Probably a little of both.

The easiest thing to see was that I had a disconnect between my taste level and my ability. At the beginning of my photo career, I was getting some really great results, and I was pumped. At right is one photo from 2007. I was excited when I took this. It's not bad, but now when I look at it, it really doesn't mean anything.

My taste was overshadowed by my enthusiasm for taking cool pictures. I bet that it happens to many aspiring photographers. I can now, for whatever reason, see the "taste-result gap" in my photos, and have re-dedicated myself to close that gap. Ira Glass from "This American Life" has an excellent talk on this subject, and gives the simple solution: work. Do the work.

For a while, I thought that I was working, trying to heed the good advice, and work through the suck. But things weren't working out like I wanted. The problem is, I can now see, is that I didn't really believe that my stuff was all that crappy.

Deep down, I counted myself as someone different, that I didn't need to worry about sucking, that I had it all down. This past weekend, I shot some real crap, and realized that I suck just like everyone else does. It wasn't the camera or the lens or the light or the subject. It was me.

In short, I know that right now in my career, I suck. That's fine, I'm OK with it; for now. I don't produce exclusively shitty work; some of it is really pretty ok. But most falls well short of my own expectations. I'm glad for that: it means that I haven't lost touch with reality, that I still have some taste, and can recognize shitty work (even if it's mine).

Producing crap is hard, but I am making a concerted effort to see the little victories each day, in each photo.

I'm going to just stop worrying and get busy getting better. Just do the work.

"Towardness"

2009-09-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

I just finished one of the best books I have ever read. I am generally a pretty tough critic, but this was just amazing: "Infinite Jest" by David Foster Wallace. I very highly recommend it.

One passage really spoke to me. In this bit, the speaker is discussing a filmmaker's work.

The man's Work was amateurish... Was amateurish the right word? More like the work of a brilliant optician and technician who was amateur at any kind of real communication. Technically gorgeous, the Work, with lighting and angles planned out to a frame. But oddly hollow, empty, with no sense of dramatic towardness -- no narrative movement toward a real story, no emotional movement toward an audience.

This struck me, as so many pictures I have taken have nothing in them. There is no towardness. I now realize that this is the reason I'm unhappy with my photos. I must strive to tell a story, something, at least, with each frame.

In my mind, this type of communication to the viewer is more important than the technical aspect. A photo can stand on it's own if it speaks to the audience, but is not technically perfect. A perfect photo that says nothing is usually pretty, but that's all.

On a personal note, I've changed jobs since I last posted here. I am very excited about the change of scenery. I am still in the retail industry, but hope that this career move will help to recharge my personal battery, as it were, and allow me to begin to see things in a different light. I am going to strive to post more often, and make this a useful place to visit, if for nobody but me.

Roadmap

2009-03-07T21:10:00.000-08:00

This article is a pretty good place to keep the conversation going. According to Simon Norfolk:

Soon we’ll all be amateur photographers with real money-making jobs on the side that we don’t tell our colleagues about. We need to get over the snobbery attached to that.

I will probably always be an amateur photographer, and this site is dedicated to my desire to take the best photos that I can, as well as excel at my real job.

This post serves as a road map as far as I can currently see. Which is to say, not too far:

Work-life balance, a decidedly non-photographic topic, but oh-so important.
Missed opportunities, and what it means to not take the shot when you see it.
Not being afraid to suck. Most people really do suck, at least at some point, but there is so much fear of sucking. I want to embrace my suck-iness.
Finding your voice as a photographer.
Inspiration, and what it means to be inspired

I know that this site isn't going to be my answer for everything, but it will become my own personal place to shine my own shoes, and become a better photographer.

Preface and Purpose

2008-06-29T18:59:00.000-07:00

Contrary to the title of this blog, it is not about taking photos for a living, but is about not taking photos for a living. The gross majority of people taking pictures these days are not getting paid for them. They have to have another career.

I am one of those people. I enjoy photography, but have a full time job as well. I started this blog to have a platform to discuss all things photographic, and how to fit those things into an already overstuffed life.

I an not under the illusion that I have the answers. I have some ideas, and hope that by having a place to discuss them, those ideas will improve, which will lead to more and better photos, as well as a more fulfilled life.